Thank You For Bringing Me Here

 An anonymous reader left me a positive and significant comment, following my last blog entry - "Aging gracefully AND gratefully😊"

Frankly, I'm not managing the gracefully too well for the time being, I've kind of had my pins knocked out from under me. BUT, I emphasize that it's temporary. Graceful is not exactly my norm anyway, so I will set that goal aside for a bit.

"Gratefully" is the reminder for which I am, well, grateful and one that I often need. It's just too easy to dwell on the hurts and hassles, and I'm great for heading for the dark side when those things seem to be ruling my life.

I do try to be grateful, and I picked up a mantra in yoga class that helps - Thank you for bringing me here.  I began whispering that to myself on those mornings when my body felt like the last thing it wanted was to lie down on a yoga mat. But if I could drag these achy bones and joints down to the floor, I found that repeating  that phrase to myself changed my perspective. 

Thank you for bringing me here. These are magic words for me, suitable for many occasions - especially those in which I don't want to be, though even better when I'm standing on a mountain top with a magnificent sunset spread out before me (you didn't think I would climb all the way up a mountain before sunrise, did you?) It's easy to be grateful when I have a beautiful sunset. 

It's when I find myself in those places I don't want to be that gratitude comes hard. So to say "thank you for bringing me HERE" (this place of discomfort and pain) - was quite a stretch for me. I had to meditate on this for a while. Like I'm supposed to be grateful for this? Man, I just want it to go away!

It's useful for the minor inconveniences that I encounter  - I'm running late and the train picks that exact time to run 50 cars across my path. First I grumble, then I say: Thank you for bringing me here". I once heard someone else say, "This is God's way of telling me to slow down." A position of gratitude is that I am able to take a deep breath, calm myself, and maybe think through a bit better whatever I'm hurrying off to do. (Schmaltzy, yes, but better than driving my blood pressure higher.) Gratitude changes my perspective.

"Bringing me here" represents where I have been and what I have gone through  along the way. Bumpy with nearly impassible obstacles at times, nevertheless, by grace I have made it this far, And, I can take from that, that I might possess the chutzpah and the perseverance to make it beyond this place of difficulty. I often need a reminder that my life experiences, both good and challenging, have value and provide a training ground for what is yet to come.

So, "here,"this place I've come to has value, and there is a purpose to my being here. An enjoyable purpose, we can always hope, but regardless, this experience is part of the fabric of my life, and it is not wasted. My life, bumpy as it may be, is not a waste, and I need to be present for it. 

The "thank you" part is very personal. Who or what has brought you to this place? When I say it, I think of all the people who, in whatever way, have made it possible for me to be -  to be alive; to be who I am; to have the life that I have. Some have accompanied me on the journey my entire life: some I met while waiting at the airport. I could not count them all, if I counted to the end of my days.

I once had a conversation with a potential date, and the man made a disparaging remark about uneducated people he considered beneath him. My family, many of whom worked in the cotton mills of North and South Carolina, snapped sharply into focus, and I realized how hard my kinfolks had worked in their lives to give me a stable, loving childhood and a good education. I declined to go out with this person, but I am grateful that his remarks provoked this awareness in me.

Lying down on a yoga mat feeling grateful might not seem like one of the big things in life, but I know that it is both a symbol of and a gateway to good things. Thank you for bringing me here, to all the other places I've been, and to whatever comes next. I'm grateful for the help, because I could not have found my way alone.

And thank you to Anonymous for guiding me to thinking about gratitude and writing this post.