Spread A Little Love

I had to call it quits today. We’ve been traveling in Argentina for the past month. It’s wonderful to be able to do so, but several physical issues have slowed me down, and I realized that I did not feel able to finish the planned itinerary. I have to stop. I am 75 years old. I have some physical issues, and I’m tired and just not able to do it. We are going back early.

Admitting these things has been difficult. First, I don’t want to be old and have physical problems that limit what I can do, and second (or maybe first), this all comes at extreme inconvenience and disappointment to my husband, who has to get us transportation back home. He has grumbled, but he didn’t leave me behind, as yet.

I have been feeling pretty bad about all this, but my wonderful friends have, as always, been very supportive. One person wrote me an especially sweet note about enjoying reading about my adventures. She mentioned something about how I connect with people wherever I go.

We have my mother to thank for that. She talked to people everywhere, known and unknown. She didn’t hesitate to just start a conversation. As a kid, I cringed with embarrassment, but now I am obliged to carry on her tradition. I just can’t refrain from speaking to people wherever I am. Some people do not engage, but most people will stop for a word or two or even a long conversation.

I have to say, that I see this is a kind of mission. When I was in high school, we decorated the yearbook office  with a banner we made that said, ‘Spread a Little Love”. It was 1968. It was what we intended to do. I took it to heart.

So with each interaction I have with people, I try to spread a little love and kindness. I don’t have to try too hard, I just try for a little interaction that helps both of us walk away feeling a bit better; maybe feeling heard or important or understood. But  mostly I want people to feel that we are all good people, and how we are with each other is important.

These are just little things, but it is something I can do when I’m feeling that there is so little. It helps me fight off despair. And I meet some wonderful people.

I believe that if you are able, and if there is an opportunity, you should try to do something good, no matter how small.

What about if you were the most powerful person on the planet (allegedly), and had the wherewith-all to do big things? Wouldn’t you try to do something good with that power? Why in the world not? Why would you use it for meanness? It’s a question for which I have no answer.

And so It Begins

And so it begins. The darkness threatening our country begins to wrap itself over us and to keep out the light. It is going to be harder to see, to see for oneself what’s going on. Light illuminates what’s real. Darkness disguises what is not. We have to keep reaching for the light.

   I find myself thinking of Dr. Fauci today. I think of him often and what happened to him. I heard that President Biden gave him a pardon. Lord knows, he didn’t need to be pardoned, but he does need to be protected from the evil that has tried in every way to destroy him. I hope it will be enough.

   i don’t think I have ever heard of anyone who has better exemplified what a dedicated public servant should be like than Dr. Anthony Fauci. I don’t know all of his biography, but he has dedicated his life to research and treatment for infectious diseases, so that people all over the world, and their children, could live safer lives or just actually live.

    He worked with AIDS and Ebola patients hands on, at risk of his own life, to conquer these diseases. He has always been the voice of quiet reason and enlightenment to help us conquer our fears and know what to do when faced with epidemics and health disasters of all kinds. He has served our country, our people, and the people of the world tirelessly.

     He tried to help us through the pandemic that took more than a million American lives, but a narcissistic, ignorant, incompetent boob, who knew nothing yet claimed to know more than anyone, vilified Dr. Fauci. He did this all because he would rather tear down this good man, destroy him, and let Americans die rather than look bad because he was so incompetent. He couldn’t take looking bad, so he egged on his supporters to threaten Dr. Fauci and his family and to cause people not to listen to his sound advice. Instead we were left with looking for a way to inject bleach into our bodies to deal with a virus. Straight out of the dark ages. More than a million Americans died because we had and have a sociopath as our head of state.

    I am grateful to Dr. Fauci. I am glad he is retired and pardoned. I hope he takes his family and leaves this ungrateful country before the murdering heathens track him down for good.

   When the Emperor has no clothes, he’s little able to tolerate a man who can truly see and who has the wisdom to know what to do 

Last Day of The Way Things Were

I need to get these thoughts out first. They are driving me to write about them because I don’t know what else to do. So, I am making an attempt to get back to blogging. I do not intend to write about the same topic all the time. I do intend to write about my days, what I see and learn as we go along. I do hope to be able to find those things that still are good and to write about those. Just call these: observations by a little old woman.

     My heart is in my throat today. Fear churns my stomach. Dread weighs me down.  Bewilderment and the futile pursuit of some way to grasp the why of it all has hijacked my brain and robs me of sleep.

     Tomorrow we hand our country over to a man who, with his own words and actions, has repeatedly promised to tear it down and put himself at the top of some kind of authoritarian government. We voted for him despite his saying openly and repeatedly what he plans to do. We voted for him despite his lies, his incompetence, his mental illnesses, his crimes, his attacks, his insults, his disdain and ridicule for morality and ethics, his disgusting remarks about good people, his complete lack of character.

    Here are some of the things we have chosen. Duty and service to country will be replaced by revenge, self aggrandizement, and relentless pursuit of unfettered power. Honor will be replaced by winning at all costs. Truth will be replaced by lies and we will be told what to believe. Freedom of speech will be used at your own risk. Hatred, persecution of perceived enemies, and militant punishment will the first order of business. Decency will become a dirty word and reserved for losers. Debauchery and debasement will be a must for the resumes of would-be leaders. They will  serve at the pleasure of the king, and he is easily displeased.

    I don’t understand this at all. I think I have watched too many movies because I am waiting for the good guys to break in, put a stop to all this, and haul his ass away forever. Or, maybe this is a nightmare, and at some point I’ll realize it and wake myself up.

Neither appears to be likely to happen. 

I said I don’t know how we got here, but lately I have been thinking this. We forgot to be who we say we are to our own people and to the world. We forgot to live our words and fulfill our promises. We got by on congratulating ourselves on how great we are, which makes it difficult to recognize real problems and find solutions. I grew up being told, “If you don’t like it here, go somewhere else. There are a lot worse places.” Comparing yourself to worse places gives you a false sense of superiority, and that has come undone.

    I am 75 years old, and just an ordinary person. I never imagined facing such a situation in our country. I thought we were so strong that we could stay that way without too much thought or effort from me. Big mistake! Mea culpa. I just wanted to live out what little time I have left doing the things it has taken me a lifetime mold into a happy life and treasuring the precious people whom I love. I wanted to age into peace.

Well, here we are. I am not peaceful. I feel angry and resentful, though I, too, am to blame. And I don’t want to live out my years feeling this way. I don’t know what to do, but I strongly feel that I need to write, and this is my attempt. I hope to make it about something that transcends this mess we are in, I hope to find a way to live with it without descending into despair. I hope I find some way to help my country.